Five Nuggets of Wisdom from a Grandmother
In historical Kenya, before colonization, information and knowledge was passed through oral tradition from one generation to another. This was communicated through songs, parables and metaphors in the native Kikuyu language. That was the way of life for my grandmother, who shared her wisdom with me. Below are some parables that can be applied to modern-day life and whose application can help you follow your own intuition despite the popular expectations and trends.
1) Buy Your Own Soda
“Buy your own soda” is a metaphor to encourage one to work hard to be able to purchase whatever one requires, especially that which is considered a want. Instead of being dependent on others, this wisdom nugget emphasizes the value of work and good financial habits that fundamentally take care of one’s needs before addressing the wants. While this was directed to women as self-declaration to be able to support themselves financially and not be lured on premature romantic relationships, it applies to men as well on the value of work and work ethics irrespective of their trade, to be able to provide for their families. While in my grandmother’s past, the want was to literally buy her own soda, rather than the familiar porridge that was the staple drink, in modern-day life “buy your own soda” can apply to: buy your own phone, buy your own car, buy your own house; the overall focus being financial freedom.
2) A word in the heart never wins
There is shame and injustice in silence. It is in the power of speaking out that you dare to dream and set goals towards achieving those dreams. This is more commonly known as ‘trust your gut’ and follow through. It is the inner you, directing the course of action you ought to take. This wisdom nugget encourages people to speak out no matter how painful the issue is. It also advocates for mental health by expressing one’s thoughts and opinions to others; could be a friend, a family member, or a professional, who can help one solve issues. The #MeToo movement can be based on the victory of a word in the heart wining, as both women and men spoke up against sexual violence, which created a pathway for healing and justice for the survivors. Self-awareness and self-value are fundamental to successfully executing this wisdom as it guides what one wants to communicate. Do you need a pay raise that is well deserved at work, but you are nervous to speak up? A word in the heart never wins. Do you need to express your heartfelt love to another person and don’t know what to say? A word in the heart never wins. Speaking your mind can be of great help, not only to yourself but also for others.
3) Provision abounds at work
Like the saying “the early bird catches the worm”, this wisdom nugget targets the emphasis of continuity of work even if the reward is not forthcoming in the initial phase. It encourages people to push through the unpleasant, monotonous and under-stimulating tasks that sometimes work brings. It is a concept that applies more like compound interest where, inevitably, the power of continuity, consistency and the advantage of time, yields result in the long-term. If one is active, consistent and persistent, one attracts people who are willing to help them achieve their goal. This not only applies to work but also to marriages and parenting where one must be active and engaged. The goal is never to give up. It is the premise that, like Paul Coelho asserts in his book, The Alchemist, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it. Doors of opportunity open when you are immersed in work. Give your all and watch what happens.
4) An active, playful child never lacks one to give him/her a bath
This wisdom nugget is based on the premise that no man is an island. Children in their childlike wonder are active and playful, hence they inevitably get messy. At the end of the day, that child will not lack someone to wash them. Likewise, when one is active in pursuing their goals through education or offering their skills through work, someone will always be willing to help in one way or another. There will be people who, explicitly or implicitly, offer direction for one to reach their goal by helping one to proverbially climb the ladder. Upon achieving one’s goal, be thankful and with gratitude pay it forward, bearing in mind that it is a team’s effort. A documentary that best expresses this wisdom nugget is Mully, the story of Dr. Charles Mully, a Kenyan man who was abandoned by his parents in his childhood and ended up in the streets. Through the initial efforts of others and his own hard work and efforts, he raises beyond adversity and forms the largest family helping orphans across Kenya change their fate for the best.
5) You will know the right one because he/she will be willing to wait.
This wisdom nugget emphasizes delayed gratification and is specific to romantic relationships. Dating is the ‘collection of data’ to get to talk and know the other person better. Take your time and effort to know each other’s true character, not overlooking the nonverbal communication cues. The goal of dating is to find a good match, a person who could be a potential spouse and life partner. It is therefore key to set boundaries and know when to say no. Look for a shared set of values; a person that you can be vulnerable and open to, on a spiritual, emotional, and intellectual level. As they say old is gold, even in modern-day online dating where swiping right initiates the relationship, the ground rules still hold true.
References
Coelho, Paulo. 1998. The Alchemist. San Francisco: Harper Collins Publishers
2015. Mully. Directed by Scott Haze. Performed by Charles Mully Accessed June 17, 2023.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYQIF5CJQ-M&t=3328s
